“Life in the Pink Lane” – A Dad's Look at the Barbie Aisle

Friends, if you're raising boys, or have only raised boys, you probably haven't spent much time in the Barbie aisle. Whether you're at Target, Walmart or any other big store that sells toys, there's this one section that you can't miss. They've toned it down over the last few years, but you still can easily find the “pink aisle” where all the Barbie dolls reside.

So much pink!

You might not know this, but there is a Barbie doll sold, somewhere in the world, every three seconds. That means about a dozen dolls have sold since you started reading this. That's a lot of Barbies!

There was a time in my life where I never noticed or paid attention to this aisle, because it held no interest for me, at all. But then I found myself with not one, but three lovely daughters. My girls, like many others, all went through a phase where they loved Barbie to some degree.

"Every night is girls' night!"

With nine years between my oldest and youngest, I spent a lot of time “patiently” waiting, while my little cuties looked at all the Barbies. This became an unavoidable part of going to any of these stores, and at the time I didn't truly appreciate the experience. I didn't like the Barbie aisle much back then, and I kept hoping they'd want to get a Batman figure or at least look at the Star Wars toys, but no, it was Barbie or nothing.

I did have one small victory when I got my oldest a “Star Trek” Barbie and Ken. We went on some “away missions” and fought off a band of alien vegetable people. 

To boldly go where no doll has gone before.

I also tried to convince her that a Jackie Chan action figure was a cooler “Kung Fu” version of Ken.

Everybody was Kung Fu Fighting!

This phase only lasts a few years, and then these little girls soon become big girls and their interests change to big girl things.

My little girls are all grown up now, and it's funny when I go to one of the big stores for groceries or batteries or whatever, and I pass by the “pink aisle” I get a kind of melancholy feeling. I really miss staring at those pink packages of molded plastic with my little girls.

Barbie is Everything! Ken is just Ken.

You've likely heard of, and probably saw the big “Barbie” movie that came out last summer. It made like $1.38 billion and was the highest grossing film of 2023. I got to see this movie with my three daughters, and while it wasn't really my kind of movie, I loved watching it with them and listening to them talk about the Barbie dolls they had and their memories of playing with them.

I guess my point here is, whether it's Barbie dolls or GI Joes, football practice or ballet lessons, whatever your kids are into, try to embrace it. It goes by fast. - DCB
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Santa: What's wrong Hermie?

Hermie: Rudolph accused me of stealing his thesaurus. Not only was I shocked; I was appalled, aghast and dismayed!
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Did you hear about the snowman that evaporated?

He'll be mist.

Favorite Christmas Presents from the Past!

Jingle Bells, Batman smells…

Like a lot of kids will this year, when I was young, I got Batman toys for Christmas. One year, under the tree, I got an official Batman helmet! This amazing product from Ideal Toys, was a tie-in to the super-popular 1966 “Batman” TV show.  At only 4 years old, there was nothing more important to me than Batman, except maybe candy!

Images borrowed from the web.

I have vivid memories of playing outside, like kids did back then, and asking my mom to yell at me when it was time for “Batman”.  This show was that important. We had nothing like a DVR back then, so if you missed it, that was just your Bat-luck.

Holy head-wear, Batman!

The Batman helmet didn’t fit me particularly well, and was not very comfortable.  But when I wore it, I was Batman!

I am vengeance, I am the night, I am Batman!

These things are worth a fortune on eBay these days, and for a simple piece of molded plastic, their monetary value is probably greatly overblown.  But to a little kid in 1966, it was the opportunity to to strike fear in the hearts of evildoers everywhere.
To the Batmobile!  Na-na-na-na....

So, what'd you get?  

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North Pole Newsflash:

Elf steals Advent calendar.

Gets 25 days!

From the Golden Age of Dangerous Toys!

Well, most of us survived!

I grew up in a wonderful time.  No, we didn’t have smart phones or video games, or even the internet.  And yes, we drank from garden hoses, rode in the back of pickups, never wore seat belts, yadda yadda yadda.  But we had some great toys!  Oh sure, some were “hazardous” or “dangerous” or potentially even “deadly”. (Jarts anyone?) 

I had several toys that would fit in one or more of these categories.  One of the coolest and weirdest of these was the Mattel Strange Change Machine!  

"Create 'Em! Crush Em! Create 'Em!" 

This wonderful device really lived up to its name!  The way it worked (without getting too scientific on you), the toy would heat to a finger-blistering temperature, in order to soften a plastic square that would transform into a monster or dinosaur of some sort. 

Looked like Starburst candy...Tasted like science!

I'm melting, melting...

When you were done, and this was really the best part, you would heat the plastic creatures again until they were squishy and you’d stuff them in the “compressor” and smash them back into squares with the Mattel logo restamped on the side! Hey, I'm tellin' ya, it was fun!

Watch and learn:

This was an amazing toy, and about 10 years ago I found my old one in my parent’s attic. It was in pretty good shape, and to my surprise, it still worked! They don't make 'em like that anymore.

Green volcano shaped packing material was part of the toy!

This toy was eventually discontinued due to “safety concerns”, and I did get a few minor burns on my fingers from it. But I feel like those minor burns were like little life lessons for me and other kids, like: “don’t touch hot metal or melted plastic”, or “don’t put your fingers, toes or tongue in the “compressor” to see if it leaves a Mattel logo”, basically “don’t be stupid!”.  

I guess sometimes you can learn more by taking a few risks.  You know, now that I think about it, this was really kind of an educational toy.  And I loved it!

Here's a great website that takes a lighthearted look back on all the dangerous toys from the last century! 

So, what did you get? - DCB
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I dropped a hard-back edition of "A Christmas Carol" on my toe.

It hurt like the Dickens.

Let Go Of My LEGO!

Did you know that 28 LEGO sets are sold every second during the Christmas season? These incredibly popular toys were invented in the 1930’s and came to America in the early 1960’s. (That’s according to my sources at the generally reliable Wikipedia organization.)

That was then...

This is now!

Originally made of wood, these tiny plastic bricks have become a cultural phenomenon, loved by young and old alike. They’ve evolved into videogames cartoons and major motion pictures!  Their impact on generations of kids (and parent's bare feet!) will likely continue for ages to come.

Here's quick overview of the LEGO evolution:

I never actually had any LEGOs. I had something called American Plastic Bricks. They were a lot of fun, even though they weren’t quite as versatile (or popular) as LEGOs. I guess I was a tiny bit jealous of the kids that had “real” LEGOs.

Felt exactly like a LEGO when stepped on!

-DCB

Rudolph:  Have you finished your Christmas shopping?

Hermie: Yes! I got my wife a new refrigerator. I can’t wait to see her face light up when she opens it!

Favorite Christmas Presents from the Past!

I must've been about 4 when I got one of these Herman Munster puppets for Christmas. If you pulled his string he would say many “munsterous” things! “The Munsters” was a popular show from the black & white era of TV.  Kind of a creepy toy but I remember really liking it a lot. What did you get?

Not mine.

Now, A Word From Our Sponsors...

Christmas fact: A broken drum makes a terrific Christmas present.
You can't beat it!

Catalogs of Christmas Past

There are so many things that dads (& moms) of a certain age got to experience while growing up that today’s younger generations tend to miss out on.  Saturday morning cartoons, drive-in movies and Pixy Stix are all nearly as scarce as lawn darts, these days.

Helloooo up there!

One favorite little part of Christmas for me, that seems to have been missing for a while now, are those huge Christmas catalogs or “Wish Books”.  Every year we’d get these massive books in the mail from stores like Sears, JC Penney or Montgomery Ward that were about 5 or 6 hundred pages of gift ideas for adults and kids.  Imagine a print version of Amazon.

I wanted everything on this page!

Every kid knew to flip to the back half of the book, because that’s where the toys were. And I mean TOYS! They had every toy a kid could ever want or imagine!

Barbie was my sister's go-to.

My sister and I would fight over who would get the book first. What we’d do is go through it, page-by-page, circling all the things we wanted with a pen.  I guess the thought was, mom and dad would look at all the things we’d circled and get them for us.  As time went on, we figured out that we weren’t likely to get most of the things we'd circled, even with Santa’s help.  But we didn’t care. We just kept on circling those toys. After all, it was called the "Wish Book"!

Definitely had a few of these.

This seems like such a small thing now. But for me, it was all part of that holiday magic that only kids get to experience.  My kids have had their own versions of holiday magic, and they’ve certainly not been overly deprived.  But, as a dad, sometimes I wish they could have all the same happy experiences I did. I guess that’s just the way it goes.

Oh, and I still miss lawn darts.  - DCB

You'll Knock Yer Block Off, Kid!

I had Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots when I was a kid. It was really a fun toy, and a great way to work out any pent up aggressions you might have toward robots.

For those who don't remember,  Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots is a two-player action toy, manufactured by the Marx toy company.  It was first released in 1964, and features two robot boxers, Red Rocker and Blue Bomber, mechanically manipulated by the players, and the game is won when one player knocks the head off of the opponent.  (And they say video games are violent!)  

This classic toy has entertained kids for generations and the two robots were even featured in a great scene in the 1999 animated film Toy Story 2.

I read recently that Mattel Films (yep, that's a thing) is producing a live action Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots movie starring Vin Diesel. ('m not making this up!)  

You know, considering the fact these robots can’t really move all that much, I wonder if they'll call it "The Stationary and the Furious". 

Well, the nice thing is even if the movie bombs, the Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots will still get two thumbs up. (See what I did there?)

"We talkin’ or we boxin’?"