Tuesday, December 10, 2024

Dad's Pick: Santa's Coming For Us - Sia (Woodenwanabeeya)


Now it’s time for Hermie’s Did You Knows!


Did you know, there’re only three types of people in this world?

Those who CAN count. And those who CAN NOT.

~~~~~~~~~

Did you know, 85% of Americans don’t know how to do simple math?

I’m just glad I’m part of the other 25%!

~~~~~~~~~

Did you know, there once was a King that was only 12 inches tall?

Turns out he was actually a great ruler!

~~~~~~~~~

Albert Einstein was a genius.  His brother, Frank… he was a monster!

~~~~~~~~~

Did you ever wonder what kind of doctor Dr. Pepper was?

He was a Fizzician!

~~~~~~~~~

Did you know that there are more airplanes in the ocean than there are submarines in the air?

Of course, that’s plane to sea!

Thursday, December 5, 2024

Dad's Holiday Music Recommendations!

The management here at Dad’s Christmas Blog takes great pride in keeping up with all things Christmas, especially Christmas music.  So, in no particular order, I thought it would be fun to share some of the favorites we’ve been listening to here at DCB headquarters.

We haven’t quite gone commercial here at DCB (yet), so you’ll have to track these gems down yourself from the usual places you get music these days.

Check ‘em out:

“Everybody Knows It’s Christmas” (2022) - Chris Isaak

His second Christmas album is even better than his first one. Favorite songs: Everybody Knows It’s Christmas and Almost Christmas.

“Socks” (2018) – JD McPherson

I just like every song on this album.  Favorites:All the Gifts I Need and Every Single Christmas.


“Everyday Is Christmas” (2017) – Sia

This whole album has a very festive vibe.  Favorite songs: Candy Cane Laneand Round and Round.

“A Very Kacey Christmas” (2016) – Kacey Musgraves

A fun mix of old and new songs. Favorite songs: Presents Without A Bow and Ribbons and Bows.



“Hey! Merry Christmas!” (2018) – The Mavericks

Just a bunch of happy-sounding Christmas songs! Favorite songs: Christmas Time is (Coming Round Again) and Hey! Merry Christmas!”.

“Christmas” (2023) – Cher

She’s 78 years old and sounds great!  There’s lots of good stuff here, but I’d say my favorites are:  Christmas (Baby, Please Come Home) and DJ Play a Christmas Song.

“Christmas Party” (2018) – The Monkees”

Hey, hey it’s the Monkees for Christmas! Favorite songs: Unwrap You at Christmas and Mele Kalikimaka.

 
“A Legendary Christmas” (2018) – John Legend

Really nice album.  Favorite songs: Merry Merry Christmas" and What Christmas Means to Me.

 
“You Make It Feel Like Christmas” Deluxe Edition (2020) – Gwen Stefani

This originally came out in 2017, but she keeps re-releasing it with more songs on it. The Deluxe Edition is the best.  Favorite songs: You Make It Feel Like Christmas and "Here This Christmas".


"Christmas Spirit" (2008) - Los Lonely Boys

This one goes back a few years, but it's a good one.  Favorite songs:I’ve Longed For Christmas &
"She'll Be My Everything For Christmas"
.

What have you been listening to?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Santa: You seem a little down Hermie.  What’s the problem?
Hermie: Well, it’s like this, boss:

My girlfriend complains I don’t give her enough privacy.
At least that’s what she says in her diary.

Last month she blocked me on Facebook cuz I use too many bird puns.
Well, TOUCAN play at that game.

A few weeks ago she told me to take out a spider instead of killing it.
So, I did. We had a few drinks. Pretty nice guy.  Turns out he’s a web developer.

Yesterday she broke up with me cuz she thinks I’m a compulsive gambler.
Ever since then, all I can think about is how to win her back.

Tuesday, December 3, 2024

The Return of Dad's Christmas Blog!

Welcome back to the Blog, Christmas fans! I hope you’ve all had a great year up to this point. As we finish up the last of the Thanksgiving leftovers, I know sometimes it can be tough to get back into the Christmas spirit.  Well, we here at Dad’s Christmas Blog (DCB) intend to remedy that!  In the coming weeks we’re going to spread enough Christmas cheer to make the Grinch’s heart grow a couple more sizes!

via GIPHY

You can expect lots of goofy Christmas fun and some special surprises this month. I mean, seriously, some actual surprises; so check in often!

To kick off the action, enjoy this fun little tune:


Hermie: Hey Rudy, know what the pirate said on his 80th birthday?

Rudolph: What?

Hermie: Aye Matey!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hermie: Hey Santa!  Mrs. Claus bet me $1000 I couldn’t turn spaghetti into a car.

Santa: Oh?

Hermie: Yeah, you should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hermie: At the age of 65, my grandma started walking 10 miles a day!

Frosty: Well, that’s impressive.

Hermie: Yeah. She’s 92 now, and we have no idea where she is!


Monday, December 25, 2023

Merry Christmas Everyone!

Well, it’s here! I hope everyone had an extra special day.  Our Christmas was very nice here. Family, food, presents; all the things that make the holidays fun! Not everyone gets to enjoy these things, and I know I’m truly blessed.  I hope you are too.

We’re a little understaffed this year at DCB, and running a “nationally acclaimed” blog like this takes a substantial effort.  We had a lot more planned for the blog this year, but just ran out of time. So come next December, be ready for even more Christmas fun and surprises right here at Dad’s Christmas Blog!  Until then, I hope everyone has a great year! Bye for now! Peace🎄😉 - DCB

———

Hermie is trying on shoes.

"So how do they feel?" the salesclerk asks.

"They're a little too tight," the Hermie replies.

"Well, try pulling the tongue out," the clerk suggests.


"Okay," he says. "Dut dey thtill theel a bith thoo thight."

———

One day a Hermie went to an auction to buy a parrot. 


He really wanted it, but he kept getting outbid. So, he bid higher...and higher...and higher. 


Even though he had to bid way more than he intended, he finally won the bird. 


As he was paying for it, he said to the auctioneer, "I sure hope this parrot can talk. I'd hate to have paid this much to find out that he can't!"


"Don't worry," replied the auctioneer. "Who do you think kept bidding against you?"


Saturday, December 23, 2023

More Christmas Laffs 4U!! 🤪

Here’s another batch of crazy holiday comics from all over the web! They’re joyful, and triumphant!














Hermie: Doc, every night for the past month and a half, I have dreams of wrestling matches with donkeys.

Doctor: Well, take these pills, and your dreams will go away.

Hermie: Great! Can I start taking them tomorrow?

Doctor: Why?

Hermie: Because I’m scheduled to wrestle in the championship match tonight.

———-

Rudolph: What’s wrong Hermie?

Hermie: I asked my girlfriend to meet me at the gym, but she he never showed up… It was then I knew we weren’t going to work out.

Thursday, December 21, 2023

Time to Start Wrappin’!



Hermie: My wife asked me “why don’t you treat me like you did when we first started dating?”  So I took her out to dinner and a movie.

Frosty: Wow! That was nice.


Hermie: Then I dropped her off at her parent’s house.

Tuesday, December 19, 2023

The Amazing World of Hermie the Nitwit Elf*!

Now it's time for some words of wisdom from everyone's favorite elf.
I'm not just a nitwit!

So Hermie, what’s on your mind?

Rudolph says I’m the cheapest elf in the world, but I’m not buying it.
———
My wife asked me if I’d seen the dog bowl.  I didn’t know he could!
———
I hired a handyman and gave him a to-do list. When I got home only items 1, 3 and 5 got done.  Turns out, he only does odd jobs.
———
I’m currently watching a show about beavers.  Best dam show I’ve ever seen.
———
Sometimes I wake up grumpy. Other times I let her sleep in.
———
The doctor told my uncle he was going deaf. I’ll bet that news was hard to hear.
———
Santa has forbidden me from making any more breakfast puns. He says one more and I'm toast.  Rudolph keeps egging me on.  He's such a ham.
———
The other day I couldn’t tell if someone was waving at me or the person behind me.  In other news, I lost my lifeguard job.
———
I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but then it came back to me.
———
Rudolph has been putting glue on my rifle collection.  He denies it, but I’m sticking to my guns.
———
I'm writing a book on reverse-psychology.  Please don't buy it.
———
My son asked me, "Do trees poop?" I said, "Where do you think #2 pencils come from?".
———
I like to change the "m" and the "n" on the keyboard in the office.  Some say I'm a monster. But I say I'm a nomster.
———
Every New Year's Eve I look forward to a good show at Times Square.  But every year they drop the ball.
———

*"Hermie, the Nitwit Elf" is not associated with the TV character "Hermey, the Misfit Elf" from the famous Chistmas special. "Hermey" is a copyrighted character.  "Hermie" just looks a lot like him. Please don't sue us.

Sunday, December 17, 2023

What's So Special About Christmas Specials? - The Top Animated Holiday Shows of All-Time!


Today we’re talking about those classic animated Christmas specials that everybody loves. Did you know that the very first animated holiday special made for TV was the classic 1962 “Mister Magoo's Christmas Carol”?

Bah-Humbug!

Since then, there have been hundreds of animated specials; some much better than others. (Anyone remember “Nestor, the Long-Eared Christmas Donkey”?)

All the better to hear you with, my dear!

Christmas specials are holiday video treats brought to us by the TV networks and their corporate sponsors to get us into the Christmas spirit, and of course sell stuff.  I remember thinking Santa riding that electric razor was just part of the show.

There was a time before streaming, on-demand, DVR's, DVD's and VCR's when these shows would just air once a year.  If you missed it, you'd have to wait 12 long months for another chance to catch it.

Must record Nestor, the Long-Eared Christmas Donkey!

These specials brought almost as much Christmas joy into our homes as a Christmas tree.

The staff here at Dad's Christmas Blog (DCB) has compiled a list of the four all-time greatest, most essential, definitive, iconic, not-to-be-missed Christmas specials of all-time! Check 'em out!

No kids, do it like this!

Frosty the Snowman:
This special first aired in December of 1969, and has ran every year since. It tells the story of a snowman that comes alive with a magic hat and runs around town making friends with all the kids, especially little Karen. He's pursued by an inept magician who's after the magic hat, and ends up sacrificing himself to save Karen from freezing to death.  Of course, Santa comes in and saves the day and Frosty vows to return every year.  A promise he's managed to keep for well over 50 years!  This is a fun story with a theme song and narration by the famous Jimmy Durante.

Ain't no party like a Peanut party!

A Charlie Brown Christmas: Kicking off the holiday season of 1965, this was the very first animated version of the Peanut's gang. This laid-back special focuses on Charlie Brown who finds himself depressed at Christmas time.  With its tone, pacing and unorthodox jazz soundtrack, the network expected this one to be a big flop. Surprisingly, everyone seemed to love it. It's received several awards, including an Emmy, and the soundtrack, by the Vince Guaraldi Trio, has sold over 5 million copies in the U.S.  This show aired every December on broadcast TV for 56 years before moving exclusively to Apple TV+. “Good grief!”

Could this post get any longer?

Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas: The year after Charlie Brown hit it big, 1966, the Grinch came to town.  Chuck Jones, best known for making Bugs Bunny and Road Runner cartoons, convinced Dr. Seuss himself to let him make this show.  Making it even more special, he got legendary Frankenstein actor, Boris Karloff to be narrator and the voice of the Grinch.  The theme song, “You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch” is goofy fun and the story itself is heart-warming and funny.  It's been remade a few times now, but here at DCB, we stand by the original.

I'm just a misfit.

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer:
Created in 1964, this special, based on the song that was based on a poem by the same name, no longer runs once annually, but several times during the holiday season. It is the longest continuously running Christmas TV special in the U.S.; and for good reason. It's awesome! I was always fascinated by the stop-motion animation of Rudolph, and the song “Holly Jolly Christmas” has become a traditional favorite nearly as popular as the title song. Besides great music, this story has thrills, chills, comedy, romance and a monster!

Ahh! These wings are so hot!!

Well, there you have it. our best of the best of the TV Christmas specials! I suggest you gather the family and watch a few of these if you haven’t already. Weird how they all came out in the 1960's.  But they're still a lot of fun to watch.  If you can think of any that are better than these, you're probably wrong, but we'll gladly give them an honorable mention. (Any Long-Eared Christmas Donkey fans out there?) -DCB

_____

Rudolph: Have you finished your Christmas shopping?
Hermie: Well, this year I’m sending all my gifts telepathically.  After all, it’s the thought that counts!
_____

Hermie:  Did you know the man who invented the Ferris wheel never met the man who invented the Merry-Go-Round?
Rudolph: Really?
Hermie: Yes. Seems they traveled in different circles.

Christmas Playlist 2023!


It’s here! 
Dad's Christmas Blog presents the all-new 2023 edition of the Underwood's Christmas Playlist!  

This long-standing tradition, compiled by ol' Dad himself, contains a stocking-full of fresh Christmas tunes for your holiday listening pleasure.


Here's the thing though, you need to have a subscription or app for either Spotify or Apple Music to fully enjoy the playlist, and they may cost a little bit.  But hey, if you don't have either there's no shortage of Christmas music on the radio and internet this time of year, so don't despair, just enjoy! -DCB



Listen with Apple Music!


Listen with Spotify!

_______


Hermie: Have you heard of the blind cyclops brothers?

Rudolph: Nope.

Hermie: Neither have eye!

_______


Frosty: Why the frown, Hermie?
Hermie: I asked Santa for a globe last Christmas, but I didn't get it.

Frosty: Oh, that's too bad.

Hermie: Yeah, it would've meant the world to me.



Tuesday, December 12, 2023

Christmas Laffs! 🤪

Here’s a collection of holiday comics from all over the web to brighten your spirits!












These holiday travelers are really getting out of hand. Last night at the airport, there was a woman completely passed out at the luggage carousel.  She slowly came around.

Merry Christmas from Dad's Christmas Blog!

Merry Christmas, Everyone!! Another Christmas is in the books! I hope everyone has had the best Christmas ever! It’s been a tough year, but...