Merry (Belated) Christmas!

From All of Us, To All of You!

Wow, this month went by fast!  I hope everyone’s Christmas was as nice as mine was this year. Lots of food, family and fun!

I got some very nice gifts this year, I hope you did too! The one I'm most excited about hasn't arrived quite yet. We’re off to the hospital to anxiously await the arrival of our first grandchild! 

Happy Holidays from your friends at Dad’s Christmas Blog! I hope your 2025 is fantastic! See you next December for more Holiday fun! - DCB

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Now, here’re a few parting words of wisdom from our pal, Hermie, the Nitwit Elf:

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Hermie: Hey Rudy! There’s a huge sale down at the Lego store!

Rudolph: Really?

Hermie: Yes! The people are lined up for blocks!

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I just renewed my car insurance and the woman said... “Before you go do you have any pets?”

I said, "Yes, I have a dog,"

So she says, "Would you like to insure him?"

And I say, "No, he can't drive!"

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I always wanted to learn how to procrastinate....just never got around to it.

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Santa: Hermie, you missed Elf practice again!

Hermie: Sorry Santa. I got pulled over by the police last night.

Santa: Oh? What happened?

Hermie: They asked me where I was between 6 and 11. I told them I was in junior school!

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I just heard a song on the radio called “Duvet Know It’s Christmas?”.

I think it’s a cover.

via GIPHY

Gene Autry - The Original Christmas Cowboy!

The very first Christmas record I can remember listening to was this one by Gene Autry.
Like most kids, I loved the song "Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer" and this was the definitive version as far as I was concerned.  I had no idea who Gene Autry was, but my dad had been a fan of his movies when he was a kid and let me know all about him.

Already a radio star and movie icon, Gene Autry lassoed holiday fame in 1947 with "Here Comes Santa Claus," inspired by his stint as Grand Marshal of the Hollywood Christmas Parade. 

But Autry wasn't just the man who made Rudolph famous. During his 70-year career, he dominated every entertainment medium faster than you can say "yee-haw!" He recorded and wrote hundreds of songs; he was the most successful singing cowboy, appearing in 93 movies, often alongside his trusty horse Champion, and starring in 91 episodes of his own television series. Gene Autry was ranked among the most celebrated film stars, and for years was considered to be the world's most popular Western film actor.

In addition to his signature song "Back in the Saddle Again", as well as dozens of Western hits, Autry's Christmas song portfolio would make Mariah Carey blush! - "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer", "Frosty the Snowman," “Santa Claus is Coming to Town”, "Up on the House Top” and many more! He was basically the DJ of December before DJs existed! And talk about overachieving - he's the only person with five stars on the Hollywood Walk of Fame! - (film, TV, music, radio, and live performance.)

In his later years, Autry owned media stations and the California Angels baseball team, proving that even cowboys can trade their saddles for board rooms. He was so beloved that they named a whole town after him in Oklahoma! – (though we can't confirm if everyone there is required to sing Christmas songs year-round.)

A true pioneer of country music and holiday cheer, Autry’s films made Western tunes mainstream before Nashville knew what hit it. Now that's what you call a Christmas gift to American culture!

I thank my dad for introducing me to these classics, and think about him just a little every time I hear one.

Learn more about this Christmas legend at the official Gene Autry website!

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Now, let's check in again with Hermie the Nitwit Elf and his pals up at the North Pole!

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Hermie: Hey Santa, my kids want a cat for Christmas!

Santa: Is that so?

Hermie: Yes. Normally I cook a turkey - but hey, whatever makes them happy!

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Hermie: Hey Frosty! Do you know why Dasher and Dancer love coffee?

Frosty: Why?

Hermie: They’re Santa’s Starbucks!

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Rudolph: I had no idea you were so afraid of elevators.

Hermie: Yeah, I’ve taken steps to avoid them.

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Santa: Where are those cookies I asked for?

Hermie: Well, the recipe told me to set the oven to 180`.

Santa: And…?

Hermie: Well, now I can’t open it. It’s facing the wall!

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Hermie: I no longer see my wife because of her gambling.

Frosty: What happened?

Hermie: She won the lottery and moved to Hawaii!

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Hermie: I just bought a top of the line hearing aid for $7,000!

Rudolph: Really, what kind is it?

Hermie: 12:30.

Dad's Xmas Recipes (To Avoid!)

Don't try these at home, friends!

This month is flying by fast! Christmas will be here in just a few days! The ol’ Christmas blog has kind of gotten away from me this year, and I feel like I’ve neglected my thousands of faithful followers a little, and for this, I do apologize.

Today, however, I want to talk about holiday food. Delicious meals at holiday gatherings are as big a tradition as giving presents for many of us (though based on these historical recipes, I'm starting to think "delicious" meant something very different back then). 

Let's take a look back at some recipes from the past and see what holiday dining was like in "the good old days" - a time when apparently gelatin was considered an appropriate vessel for literally everything, and the concept of "food poisoning" was just thought of as character building! Bon appetit!

Aren't all fruitcakes mysterious?

Rockin' Around the Wiener Tree! 

That's tuna with green food coloring in the middle. 
Who says everything goes with Jell-o?

Festive Tuna Tree!
It figures that the Elf on a Shelf is responsible for this one.

Tree theme going strong here.
Hope someone spiked that punch!

Your traditional Shrimp Tree!

Anything in the shape of a tree is fair game!
Wait, is that bacon?!

Unidentified meat encased in some kind of decorative icing resting on a bed of green something.
That icing is definitely mayo-based! 

Holiday Meat Tree! 
Looks more like a Holiday Meat Heap, but I'd eat it!

Meat and potatoes in the shape of an igloo!
Finally, some originality!

Holiday Vegetable Loaf!
Looks gross, hard pass.

Handy Ham! Looks like a tasty desert, but it's not!
Frosting is mayo & cream cheese!

Well, that's an unexpected flavor combo.
Sure to be a party favorite!

Mmm, garbage fondue! Merry Christmas!

Apparently, "salad" meant something different back then.
No thank you!

Frosty the Slawman!
lol! I love it! - Bring out the Hellman's!!

Company coming? I don't think so!
Another edible tree from the folks at Underwood Deviled Ham! (no relation)

There's a lot going on here, but there is actually a baked ham in this photo.
(It's the green lump on the right.)

Cranberry Surprise! Top it with scoops of mayo! Yummy!
Looks like a pink nightmare!

Cheese Cones!
Who didn't cheer when Grandma brought these out?

In a Cajun mood? Try the Crawfish Tree!
This would be horrifying! Let the good times roll!

Ho, Ho, Ho! Pass the Alka-Seltzer!

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Now let's check in with Hermie the Nit-Wit Elf and his pals up at the North Pole!

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Hermie: A friend of mine just moved into his new igloo, so I threw him a housewarming party.

Frosty: Well, that was nice.

Hermie: Yeah, but now he’s homeless.

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Hermie: I’ve feel like I’ve been having a little trouble hearing lately.

Frosty: Can you describe the symptoms?

Hermie: Sure, Homer is a fat guy, and his wife Marge has blue hair.

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Hermie: Knock, Knock!

Frosty: Who’s there?

Hermie: Honda.

Frosty: Honda who?

Hermie: Honda first day of Christmas my true love gave to me…

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Santa: Hermie, what have you been working on, my friend?

Hermie: I’m writing a book on how to be safe and not fall down stairs.

Santa: Oh?

Hermie: Yeah, it’s a step-by-step guide!

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Hermie: Have you ever heard of “Murphy’s Law”?

Rudolph: Sure.

Hermie: What is it?

Rudolph: It means “if something can go wrong, it will go wrong”.

Hermie: Oh, well have you ever heard of “Cole’s Law”?

Rudolph: No, what it that?

Hermie: Thinly sliced cabbage and mayonnaise.

Important Announcement from Dad’s Christmas Blog!

A few posts back I mentioned that there’d be some special surprises this year. Well, I’d like to announce to my thousands of followers here on the blog, that in the next few days there will be a new addition to the DCB family!  Any day now, the young lady that first gave me the title of “Dad” will give me the new title of “Grandpa”, with a little baby boy!  Needless to say, this is a very exciting time for us here at DCB headquarters!

There’s been some question of what my actual title will be. Grandpa, Papaw, Poppa, Pop, Pop-Pop, Popo, Peepaw, Geepaw, G-man, G-dog, Big Gee…, the list is endless.  I don’t particularly care what the little guy calls me, as long as I get to be a part of his life!

Meanwhile, I’d like to take this opportunity to present the all-new 2024 edition of the Underwood's Christmas Playlist!  

Compiled by ol' Dad himself, this contains another fresh batch of Christmas tunes for your holiday listening pleasure.

Remember, you need to have a subscription or app for either Spotify or Apple Music to fully enjoy the playlist, and they may cost a little bit.  But hey, if you don't have either there's no shortage of Christmas music on the radio and internet this time of year, so don't despair, just enjoy! -DCB

Listen with Apple Music!

Listen with Spotify!

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Hermie: Do you know why scuba divers fall backwards out of the boat?

Rudolph: No, why?

Hermie: Well, if he fell forward, he would just go into the boat!

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Hermie: Did you know I have two dogs named Timex and Rolex?

Rudolph: Oh, really?

Hermie: Yeah, they’re both watch dogs!

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Hermie: I had a great childhood. My dad used to get old tires and roll me down the hill.

Rudolph: That sounds nice.

Hermie: Yeah, those were Good-Years!

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Hermie: Hey, I burned 2000 calories today!

Rudolph: That’s impressive.

Hermie: Yeah, that’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I take a nap.

Rudolph: ….You are SO weird.

Dad's TV Christmas Quiz

Celebrating the holidays has been a TV tradition since the first sets flickered on back in the days of black and white. Here are a bunch of festive photos from TV shows throughout the ages!  See how many shows you can identify! Most of these should be pretty easy (if you've ever watched a TV), but the answers are at the bottom in case you get stumped.  Good Luck!

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12.

13.

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25.

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Answers:

1. The Andy Griffith Show
2. Cheers

3. Friends

4. Ghosts

5. Green Acres

6. Leave It To Beaver

7. Bewitched

8. Bonanza

9. Dennis the Menace

10. Fraiser

11. Sanford & Son

12. Full House 

13. The Beverly Hillbillies

14. Lassie

15. Lost In Space

16. The Monkees

17. The Munsters

18. The Office

19. The Partridge Family

20. Seinfeld

21. Saturday Night Live

22. Three Stooges

23. Ted Lasso

24. The Dick Van Dyke Show

25. The Twilight Zone